My son’s birthdays celebrate happiness.
This weekend I’ll be celebrating my son Harry’s twenty-fourth birthday at a table for three with him and his boyfriend. His actual birthday is next week, but he’ll be with friends in San Francisco. I can’t wait to clink glasses in honor of Harry being Harry! I’ll make my annual silent toast, too, on the anniversary of being his mom and for all the joys that come with the titles of parenthood.
I’m proud of my son. He knows himself, trusts himself and believes in his worthiness. He’s confident, happy, optimistic and resilient; qualities his dad and I worked hard to instill in him. He’s taught me a thing or two, as well. Here are a few lessons from his early years.
- No matter what books you read about what to expect from a child, it’s the unexpected that makes you think and dig deep into your heart.
- Children are not here to please their parents. They have their own desires, likes, dislikes and preferences.
- Children are born with knowledge of their own basic uniqueness and value.
- Children are better than adults at accepting their differences.
- Life is supposed to be fun!
I still learn from Harry, mostly about gender identity and the infinite blends of gender expression. So celebrating Harry’s birthday reminds me not just how much I love and admire him, but why I write this blog and how much I have to share in my book about the journey of a mom whose son wears heels.
Is there a standout lesson you’ve learned from the child or children in your life? Please take a sec to jot it down in the Comments below.
Julie, I believe you’ve summed up parenting for me! You always seem to have the right words. Thank you for that!
Thanks so much, Renee. Your comments always inspire me. 🙂 xo
Where are you going for dinner? Have a wonderful time and Happy Birthday Harry!
(Brendan turns 23 in August)
Advance birthday cheers to your 1991 baby, Rose! xo
Julie: Very cool stuff. You’ve encouraged me to share a few parenting thoughts. Please forgive any recycling:
* All time together is quality time
* PaRENT to OWN. Keep working on parenting until you OWN it – it is you.
* Far away parenting should not feel far away i.e. result in a child feeling distant in their relationship with their parent(s).
* Be patient. Follow with further patience.
* Listen and trust.
* Establish healthy boundaries to ensure safety.
* Facilitate fun.
* Reflect on the blessing and meaning of parenting. Apply your wisdom. Be thankful.
Elie! What wonderful guidelines these are. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful reply. I especially love the PaRENT to OWN. It encapsulates the challenges and rewards. You must be an amazing dad!! xo
My birthday is next week as well so am I invited to this dinner? I know that you and Ken did a great job and still are in the middle of it. A good parent is always learning and sharing
and being there and loving. You have it all.
Happy Birthday dear cousin Harry.
Happy Birthday to you, darling cousin! Please get on a plane and join us. Good parents always welcome at our parties. xo
When you grow up with that kind of love and acceptance it colors your whole life so that when you’re a super big kid, like me, you’ll love and respect the heck out of your parents- and appreciate them for those gifts from childhood. I’m sure you’ll have that beautiful relationship with Harry. And you’ll both be lucky for it!
Straight from the heart, dear super big kid Pamelja. Thank you. I’d hope that life-long bond of love, acceptance and respect is what all parents and kids want. I can tell that you and your parents are among the lucky ones. And I know Harry and I are, too. xo