Funny man Harry & me, 1994.
Unforgettable quotes from curious kids are a sure bet for turning up the corners of your mouth. So here’s a sprinkling of some funnies you’ve been generous enough to share here, along with a new snippet mined from The Harry Chronicles.
Katie’s six-year-old son Ryan was watching “I Love Lucy” when he started yelling to her that Lucy was saying “Asshole-Asshole,” when really she was saying “Ethel-Ethel.”
When David named only one girl among the school friends he wanted to invite to his eighth birthday party, his mom Ellen wondered if there wasn’t another girl he’d like to ask so Mia wouldn’t be only the one. But there wasn’t. So Ellen asked why he wanted to invite just Mia. David replied, “Because she’s such a good speller!”
After Susie’s dance company performed at an elementary school, there was a Q&A with the kids. They asked some good questions about the movements, the music and being barefoot. At the end, Susie asked if there was anything else they wanted to know. One little girl raised her hand and asked, “Do you have a dog?”
At dinner, Harry’s dad Ken and I often talked about work. One night in January 1995, five-year-old Harry remarked to Ken, “You sure have a lot of meetings.” Ken asked Harry what he thought happened at a meeting. Harry said, “You sit at a table of contents and talk about clients.”
My call for kidspeak funnies for a summer installment starts now. So please send in a cute quote as it happens, or share any humorous quips you can recall from the early years of the kids in your life. And to all parents of little ones, I hope you’re writing that stuff down. Happy spring in your step!
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Denver, the north-side Little Italy, late forties early fifties. Evening mass with my mother. My Dad worked nights. The scent of candles in the air. Adding to ambiance was the scent of rosewater and mothballs from the blue-haired Italian ladies that surrounded us. Maybe a touch of garlic.
I was fidgeting as most kids do. After repeated shushings, my mother pulled out her favorite blue crystal rosary beads. She pointed out Jesus on the cross and said He’d like me to be quiet and pay attention to the priest.
I remember looking at Jesus and thinking he looked more sad then concerned about me. Perhaps he was bored too. I scooted a few feet away from my Mom and swung the beads above my head like Hopalong Cassidy did with his lasso.
Before she could react I yelled out, “Hang on Jesus you’re going for a ride!” and launched her favorite rosary beads over three rows of old ladies with hankies pinned on their heads. It landed on the first of three steps going up to the altar.
The priest along with rest of the church noticed. Many of the gasping ladies nearly inhaled their veils right off their heads.
The priest whispered to the altar boy to get the beads and he dutifully handed them to my mother. She was hyperventilating and likely breaking out in hives.
I remember her walking quickly out the door holding my arm in such a manner I had to nearly run on my tippy toes to keep up. I believe I blanked out a spanking.
I was never shown those pretty blue crystal blue rosary beads again until I was twelve….. And I was not allowed to touch them. Honest to God.
I took my son Brian and his friend Jay to Government Pier in Milwaukee when they were 7 or 8. We walked out the 1/4 mile to the end of the pier marveling at the view of the city from that far into the lake.
It was a beautiful summer evening and at the end of the pier there were several young ladies who weren’t fishing and were dressed in short skirts and, of all things, heels.
As we approached and were going to pass them, Brian, age 7 or 8 loudly yelled:HOOKERS!!
We got out of there quickly laughing all the way!!
Bahahaha! Kids are hilarious!
So true, Alison! And laughing keeps us young. 🙂 xo