Just as my son Harry never crawled, the My Son Wears Heels blog simply took a single step – a click, really – and was off on its own. That was a year ago this week! I’m grateful to Harry for teaching me as much as he has about gender identity, gender expression and sexuality. And I appreciate YOU for tagging along on my personal experiences.
I scrolled back to re-read that introductory post. And I still liked it. (Whew.) So in celebration of this past year’s journey and in anticipation of the adventures to come, I give you a summer re-run of S1 E1:
Stilettos, wedges and pumps, oh my!
My son wears heels. He has since he was four. Today he’s twenty-three and continues to walk inches off the ground way more confidently than I do. Over the past two decades, I’ve been known to trip in basic pumps and in parenting.
Before my son was born, I feared a genetic stain of bad mothering. Sounds crazy, right? But I own up now to past beliefs. According to some experts back then, bad parents could make their kids gay. (Without naming names, there are some child psychologists today, like Ken Zucker in Toronto, who still believe that.)
I’ve learned a lot along the way. Mostly from my son. And there are wonderful new experts on the children’s gender-spectrum scene, like Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, author of Gender Born, Gender Made. I’m proud to say I went from a worrying, clueless mother to a confident, kick-ass mom experienced in parenting a gender-flexible child.
The lessons and journey continue. Sometimes I have to think a moment before explaining terms like cisgender or pansexual. I didn’t even know I was cisgender. I thought it meant straight, but it means identifying with the gender I was assigned at birth. So these days I’m aiming for growth at all levels, with or without stilettos.
So sit back, put your feet up and follow along as I share my exciting life and times as a woman whose son wears heels.
**Note: For a wonderful glossary of gender-related terms, including cisgender, scroll down to page 3 in PFLAG’s booklet, Be Yourself.
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