By the time he was two years old, my son Harry loved Barbie dolls, sparkly fabrics and all things pink. That’s also the age he told me, “Inside my head I’m a girl.” It was 1992. Harry’s dad and I had no idea what that meant. The Internet was no help, because there was no internet. Terms like transgender and gender nonconforming were rare. And the concept of a gender creative child? Well, that just didn’t exist.
Fast forward to April 2016, and the release of an exciting new book titled, The Gender Creative Child: Pathways for Nurturing and Supporting Children Who Live Outside Gender Boxes, by Diane Ehrensaft, PhD. It comes five years after her groundbreaking first book, Gender Born, Gender Made, in which she first coined the term “gender creative” to describe kids whose authentic gender identify or gender expression didn’t match the sex markers of M or F that appeared on their birth certificate.
The Gender Creative Child is an essential guide for any parent whose child goes against the grain of society’s expectations about gender. Dr. Ehrensaft has delved deeply into the hearts and minds of gender-nonconforming and transgender children and adolescents to bust a multitude of myths. In simple language, The Gender Creative Child explores and explains affirming new ways of thinking about gender nonconformity.
As she points out in her very first chapter, a dress no longer equals girl; a buzz cut no longer equals boy. And the boys and girls themselves are most often the ones challenging the old and rigid ideas of gender conformity.
For any parent or family member confused or anxious by their child’s gender creativity and complexity, The Gender Creative Child will be an invaluable handbook that provides sensitive wisdom, helpful messages, and constructive advice. In all honesty, I think it’s a must-read for all parents, teachers and pediatricians and should be in every public library. Riding the crest of the sea change of gender she describes, Diane Ehrensaft is indeed a “gender angel.” I only wish I’d had this book when Harry was growing up. I know I’ll read again and refer to it often, just as I did with the one that preceded it.
IF YOU LIKED THIS POST YOU’LL PROBABLY ALSO LIKE THESE:
“When gender nonconforming means not fitting in.”
The funniest thing you said is that the internet was no help because there was no internet. lol
So then, the first rule of gender is that there is no gender. That’s old thinking. Just as the internet replaced carrier pigeons, we can think past old words which really don’t mean much.
No matter how Harry was or is, I think he’s terrific.
I think the word gender may apply to Yaks. What do you think?
I love the idea of getting rid of those boxes!! What’s between our legs does not determine who we are. And that goes for yaks, too, of course. xo
Thank you for recognizing gender non-conforming children and people. I was born intersex and forced to conform to the notions of the male and female binary. It destroyed my life, and almost killed me, but I now emancipate my TRUE self. People like you are amazing heroes, because they help to change this world and make it a better place for the children emerging, who do not conform to the social construct of gender. Again, I thank you! http://www.anunnakiray.com
I appreciate you so much for sharing your story of hope and resilience here, Mx. Anunnaki Ray! I am moved to joy knowing that your authentic self has found the freedom to just be. Cheers to you! And to the children who are going to teach us just how much there is to unlearn about personhood. Big love to you. xo