No glitter, plastic gems or sparkly rhinestones decorated the valentine I gave my kid Harry this year. I’m usually drawn to cards with the same items Harry uses for the beat face of his alter-ego drag persona, Amber Alert. But a shiny red embossed word “Sassy” on the card rack caught my eye instead. Underneath the adjective, read its definition: lively, bold and full of spirit. Add in self-assured and stylish, and you’ve got quintessential Harry and Amber. Our Valentine dinner convo turned to the Academy Awards’ Mister Rogers opening number by another sassy, queer entertainer, Janelle Monáe. Then I revealed to Harry my love for Mister Rogers.
I didn’t like Mister Rogers.
When Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood debuted in 1968 I was in high school. I had no reason to care about children’s television. Instead, I worried about friends being drafted to fight in Vietnam.
But my gal pal Wendy was born in 1968 and grew up watching Mister Rogers. And it was the documentary Won’t You Be My Neighbor that she picked for us to see when it premiered in 2018.
“You really want to see a movie about Mr. Rogers?” I asked her.
“He was a big part of my childhood,” she told me. “I used to watch Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood every day. And at the end of every show, I’d go to the kitchen and tell my mom it was time to say goodbye to Mr. Rogers.”
I’d always thought of Mister Rogers as just an old fuddy-duddy with a scraggly tiger puppet. I confessed I’d never watched a single episode. But I did remember laughing at Eddie Murphy’s parody of Mister Rogers on SNL in the early ‘80s.
A singular vision of love and kindness.
Before I watched the documentary with Wendy, I never imagined the depth of the show. I didn’t realize how many issues he took on or knew of his background in children’s education. I was so moved by Mister Rogers’ connection with kids that I went to see the movie again. I took a notebook with me. And another pack of tissues.
I don’t know if I can convey the monumental impact Mister Rogers had on generations of kids, or why the adults, like Wendy, who grew up with him, revere him so. However, I did learn that on camera, he spoke as if only to an audience of one. And he strongly believed that a child’s feelings were just as powerful as an adult’s feelings.
Here are a few Mister Rogers quotes from the documentary that imprinted on my heart:
“Love is at the root of everything – all learning, all parenting, all relationships. Love or the lack of it.”
At a congressional hearing on funding for public television: “One of the first things a child develops in a healthy family is trust. I give an expression of care each day to every child, to help him realize that he is unique, by saying you’ve made this day a special day by just you being you. There’s no person in the whole world just like you and I like you just the way you are.”
“I don’t think anybody can grow unless he really is accepted exactly as he is.”
Making a difference.
At dinner that night, I told Harry he’s my forever valentine. And while revealing my love for Mr. Rogers, I explained why the person I’d never met will always hold valuable real estate in my heart. I may very well be watching the Mister Rogers documentary again, only with Harry next time. And I’ll probably apologize for not encouraging him to watch the show when he was a child.
We’re all capable of love. We all long for it and are worthy of it. Regardless of how we identify or what backgrounds or abilities we have. The list of our differences is endless. But we all want the same thing. Please remember love and kindness for family, friends, co-workers, in whatever neighborhood you live, work or play. As Mister Rogers would say, it’s such a good feeling.
Photo of Amber Alert by Ben Boyles
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A very though provoking post. I was four years old when Mister Rogers was introduced to the world. I remember a sense of calmness when I watched it, no matter what was happening in the world. I could use that sense of calmness today. I pray for a day when the world is far less unhinged. Happy you’re feeling better, Julie. Much love ~ Renee
Thank you, Renee. And thanks, too, for sharing the sense of calmness you felt as a child watching Mr. Rogers. I can understand how his patience and kindness would instill that. And I know from the doc that he wanted kids to feel safe and protected. How fortunate you are to have grown up with him! Sending loads of love to you. Jxo
Julie, I also was unaware of what Mr. Rogers stood for and how he helped our kids feel valued and worthy of love. Apparently we raised our children over the same time period…I thought you were so much younger than me 😂. I guess we lived in simpler times and Mr. Rogers was ahead of his time. Speaking to the hearts of our children is so important. Sesame Street shines that light today.
Janelle, I think we’re alike in believing most everyone is younger than we are. 🙂 It was wonderful to discover Mr. Rogers as an adult and see how his simpler times focused on kindness and treating people with dignity. I’d like to think that’s all the connection we ever need… anytime. Julie xo
Growing up not being accepted is horrendous and I know from experience.
Years ago I was advised to indulge in gentle self-acceptance. This took a lifetime. It allows us to accept others easily.
There are many Mr. Rogers out there. Finding them and embracing their attitudes is a great gift which helps to deal with these harsh and unacceptable times. Our fighting motto could be: Onward and upward and never give up!
Thanks so much, Rickshala, for sharing your personal experience. I think there are many kids who feel “less than” for their differences, or for simply not living up to someone else’s expectations. Self-love, self-acceptance and self-care are so important for healthy living among people of all ages.
I remember Mister Rogers telling the story of how his mother would tell him to look for the helpers. That he would always find somebody who was trying to help. Thank you for that reminder. And for being one of the helpers! Julie xo
I did grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it was a part of my childhood. I’m glad the current movies are reminding us as adults, and new people who did not grow up with him, what a wonderfully special person he was. It was interesting to find out more about his personal life and background. Thank you Mr. Rogers and Julie for reminding us that we are wonderful just the way we are.
A beautiful comment, Kat. Thank you! xo