Blog Archives

This past weekend, deconstructing Christmas became absolutely necessary. More pine needles lay under my tree than re ...

“Harry, can we talk about pronouns for minute?” I asked my 31-year-old millennial kid recently. “Is this your annua ...

I loved getting the chance to talk about the commonalities of leadership and parenting. Many thanks to Out Leadershi ...

My kid could be fired in 21 states just for being who they are. Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV) honors and cele ...

There’s a chance you haven’t yet heard about International Pronouns Day. The observance, which occurs on the third W ...

This Sunday is National Coming Out Day, the LGBTQ+ holiday that celebrates lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, quee ...

No glitter, plastic gems or sparkly rhinestones decorated the valentine I gave my kid Harry this year. I’m usually d ...

The maleficent U.S Education Secretary Betsy DeVos kicked off the school year by visiting a private school that bans ...

Let me assure you. The age at which your child comes out about their gender identity and/or sexuality can vary. And ...

Photos of singer-songwriter Sam Smith wearing heels publicly for the first time at the British GQ Awards in London Tuesd ...

My kid Harry – aka drag artist Amber Alert – flies home tomorrow from Berlin, Germany. Amber performed Saturday nigh ...

My brother thinks I’m stuck in the past. He didn’t tell me that directly. But he did mention it on the phone recentl ...

Many children learn that gender is simple. There are boys and girls; boys behave one way, girls another. Modern rese ...

If your child has come out to you as LGBTQ,  you may doubt your ability to be a good parent, as I did. Or you may fe ...

What do drag queens and children have in common? They love dressing up and all things sparkly and fancy. Drag Queen ...

Warning: Triggers for heartbreak, tears and depression. Over the summer 9-year-old Jamel Myles came out to his mom a ...

When I first read the question asking for advice, four words jumped off the screen:  Christian parents gender ex ...

International Pride Month may have officially ended, but there’s something to keep in mind about the months July thr ...

“I have a Harry,” a young dad in Minneapolis-St. Paul told me last month, as I signed a copy of my book for him. I’d ...

Lately I’ve been thinking about my one of my kid Harry’s iconic influencers. A stencil Harry made of her and hand-co ...

  While they/them used as singular pronouns may be confusing at first, you probably already use them without ...

Gender identity. The sex we’re assigned at birth. Sexuality. Gender expression. The world’s straight majority, of wh ...

My friend’s 30-something nephew told us about the seven weddings he attended around the country over the past ...

  If someone asked me to name a gay or queer icon, my go-to responses would most likely be a glamorous femal ...

My kid Harry's first exposure to Middle Eastern dance came courtesy of Disney. The animated flick Aladdin played non ...

My grown kid Harry, a.k.a irreverent drag queen Amber Alert, first performed drag in pre-school. His debut theatrica ...

  An entire New Year stretches before us! Like many, I’ve set my intentions on what I want to accomplish this year. I ...

The so-called leader of the free world recently banned the CDC from using the word "transgender," along with six oth ...

Four-year-old Mateo is convinced there’s a Santa Claus. I mean if you can text your gift wish directly to one of San ...

Kids know what they like when it comes to toys. The more progressive among us have picked up on that. We've moved be ...

The red ribbon that symbolizes support for the fight against HIV/AIDS filled my phone screen. I saw First World AIDS ...

I boarded the Hilton hotel’s airport shuttle behind a mom and her tween. I wasn’t sure if they’d flown into Newark o ...

When Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE), held up a “TRANS AF” ...

I watched children in my neighborhood follow their mom or dad into the nearby Halloween Spirit store after school ye ...

NON-STOP QUEENS My friend Sharon and I hopped into a taxi and headed to the opening of Bushwig 2017, Brooklyn's weeke ...

Having a child who pushes boundaries when it comes to clothes, makeup, and hair can often create worries for their p ...

My first face-to-face with iconic LGBTQ rights activist Edie Windsor was actually an encounter with only the two-dim ...

Early reader Harry, age 10 months Thousands of kids in New York City went back to school this week, headed for class ...

I opened the email confirmation my kid Harry sent me for her* upcoming flight to Toronto and smiled. The ticket had ...

  After a recent run-in with a children’s sticker, I wrote the piece “Stickers don’t have a gender.” I thought a ...

  Wearing a chambray dress and purple sun hat, a two-year-old girl entered my local drycleaners holding onto the ...

his Let' say you're the straight parent of a young child who happily tells you they're gay. Do you know how you would ...

A PRIDE PARTY WITH A VIEW My last week of Pride Month reached some new heights, starting with a Penthouse Pride ...

In his inaugural year, the 45th president of our country has issued proclamations for June as National Home Ownershi ...

“I have a Harry,” a young dad in Minneapolis-St. Paul told me last month, as I signed a copy of my book for him. I’d ...

  Last night I went to bed with George Takei. And Abraham Lincoln, too. The two men, along with 21 other inf ...

Mistie Bonet, Miss Toto, Tarah Cards, and Kimberly Clark were among the fabulous drag royalty I cheered at the inaug ...

No Mother’s Day brunch for me this year. Nope. My day will start literally at the stroke of midnight, where the ...

Last week Monday I shared with parents at a PFLAG NYC meeting some of my experiences raising a gender nonconforming ...

Three of these things don't usually go together: Catholic school, nuns, eyeliner, and dress codes. Borrowing from th ...

  Lots of peeps in New York City this Sunday will be donning their most colorful and creative hats for a mar ...

Thanks to the Quist app, I was reminded of this week's 20-year anniversary of the Teletubbies. I remember so clearly ...

I remember asking my now-adult kid Harry in the summer of 2008 if he'd accept me as a "friend" on Facebook. He was h ...

Hillary Clinton may have received a standing ovation before the curtain went up on Sunset Boulevard the night I was ...

Wednesday night, as the Republican Administration announced its withdrawal of federal guidance that protected transg ...

Transgender kids are changing the world. And there is so much evidence of how and why.  For starters, widespread rum ...

In my desire to hold onto the Obama presidency for as long as possible, I watched all of the TV specials that aired ...

Despite the fact that a team of anti-LGBTQ extremists and equal rights obstructionists will soon fill key White Hous ...

Harry in the Lanvin dress & earrings my sister sent for Christmas Here we are at the end of December and my annu ...

As a teenager, my now-adult kid Harry came out to me as bisexual and then again as gay. It didn’t feel right eithe ...

My non-binary* kid Harry, now 26, grew up believing in Santa Claus. In “The Toilet Paper Bride” chapter of my memoir ...

Dear Diary, I haven’t been avoiding you intentionally. In all honesty, I realize I've just been mentally paralyze ...

Still dumbfounded the morning after the presidential election, I arrived at a Brooklyn middle school a little before ...

I scanned the busy lobby of the JCC of Greater Columbus last Thursday night in Ohio, but I didn’t see her. The recep ...

NOT BATTING AN EYELASH My friend Sharon and I arrived at Bushwig 2016 last month soon after the doors opened. The “bi ...

I remember clearly the confusion and questions I had as my toddler son who loved pink, glitter, and Barbie dolls gre ...

  This piece was first published on Advocate.com My queer kid is 26 years old, so “back-to-school” is no ...

Harry and me on the official pub date. Image: Wendy Ploger I appreciate you so much for reading my book, talking abo ...

It’s not everyday you get an invitation to a storytelling workshop with the cast of the Tony award winning Best Musical, ...

Okay. So this photo of me jumping in the air was actually taken last summer. But it’s the closest I could come in re ...

Ta-da! I’ve hit the refresh button on my website today to feature the upcoming release of My Son Wears Heels. You’ll fin ...

“Buying toys for yourself now, Mom?” Harry asked Wednesday night when he stopped by to pick up the pink Timberland b ...

This piece also appears on The Huffington Post. “That’s it!” I said aloud from my seat on the subway. “Performati ...

When I saw my kid Harry on Saturday, it was outside the #cloyingPARLOR art space in Brooklyn. They were dressed as Amber ...

The lady at the Delta airlines check-in counter yesterday smiled as I handed her my boarding pass. And as the corner ...

My yoga teacher Linda’s 3-year-old son Mateo wanted a dress. That’s what she told me last December when she was preg ...

Young ladies wearing tuxedos, Jaden Smith in a skirt, and my own kid Harry’s personal style of self-expression have ...

Every child in my son’s graduating kindergarten class of 1996 was giddy. They shined beneath gold sparkly top hats a ...

Cousins Dylan and Harry I have a confession to make," I said. My upper lip twitched with uncertainty about revealing ...

There are a lot of strollers in my Brooklyn neighborhood. Lately I’ve been noticing more first-time moms with newbor ...

Thanksgiving, 1994 My hand covered my mouth yesterday afternoon as I read the breaking-news headline that Prince was ...

My gender creative child, 1998 By the time he was two years old, my son Harry loved Barbie dolls, sparkly fabrics an ...

I had my toughest assignment yet this week from my friends at My Kid Is Gay, who exist to help parents understand th ...

My kid Harry will be in San Francisco next week for their* birthday. I like to see him on or around the day that cel ...

"The Real O'Neals" airs on ABC on Tuesdays at 8:30pm ET I took extra time selecting my outfit for an NYC sneak peek ...

ou The thick Rapunzel braid knotted on top of my kid Harry’s head hung draped over her* right shoulder. Dressed all ...

Harry as Cleopatra, age 6 Seeing photos of Adele strolling her two-year-old son through Disneyland dressed as Prince ...

Prancing Elite Tim, being challenged by friends for her gender expression. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. As ...

(This piece was published on  HuffPost.) I applauded and breathed "yessss" as an explosion of rainbow-hued virtua ...

Harry's rainbow ice, Hawaii 1994 The social media maven here at My Son Wears Heels, Naomi Waxman, who I’m proud to s ...

On the firsts of January while we were married, my son Harry’s dad always wrote down his New Year’s resolutions. He ...

Meeting Jacob Tobia for a hot chocolate, February 2015 You clicked. And the social media analytics mavens took note. ...

Harry & me, Christmas 2008 In this season of peace, love and understanding, it’s easy to forget that some LGBTQ+ ...

It is not every mom who can smile while reminiscing about her kid’s holiday projectile vomiting. I assure you that durin ...

Harry & me on the last night of Hanukkah, 1998 MOVE OVER SCROOGE Clips circulated on social media this week from ...

When my son Harry was two, I’d never heard the word transgender. The year was 1992, and the terms gender nonconformi ...

My son Harry and I laughed on the phone following a replay of the conversation I’d just overheard between a toddler ...

HARRY’S HALLOWEEN HIJINKS I have two favorite Halloween treats, neither of which is the “fun size” version of a candy ...

Walking home from the subway Wednesday, I spotted a child dressed in a multi-colored tie-dye tee, jean shorts and br ...

I left the house yesterday afternoon wearing my deep purple sweatshirt and Desert Plum lipstick. Three purple Spirit Day ...

A few hours after my kid Harry drove away from my apartment Wednesday with a carload of props for their* two-day pho ...

More than a dozen family photo albums are scattered around my apartment this week. I’m supposed to be picking out wh ...

The big outdoor sign greeted me last Sunday with “Hi Queen!” And my smile opened as wide as the Bushwig logo. Gal pa ...

Harry reading to Mango the parakeet, 1999 I got a little choked up this morning. My adorable pint-sized neighbor Ivy ...

Naomi & Harry at PrideFest Milwaukee, 2007 This week I'm pleased to present a guest post from Naomi, an active m ...

Two of my favorite kids, Harry & Naomi Vivian hopped off her bike with the flowered seat on 79th and Lex just as ...

I know you’ve seen them everywhere. Maybe it’s been a giraffe in a grocery cart, a shark at the airport or a bunny i ...

“Um…” a child’s voice said over the paging system at the food co-op. “Do we have any pretzels?” The next sound ov ...

Harry, hours before bursting into tears at the first sound of Milwaukee's lakefront fireworks, July 3, 1992 I can’t ...

I don’t write much about kid Harry’s dad Ken, a fine-art photographer and retired executive creative director. We ha ...

The stars were out at the "Lammys." l. to r.: Justin Vivian Bond, Alan Cumming, Kate Clinton LGBTQ OR NOT, THE PATH TO ...

A gender flexible kid chews the fat. I’ve definitely learned a thing or two hundred over the years about gender iden ...

Harry dancing with stuffed toy Dalmatian pups, 1992 My kid Harry loves to dance. These days it’s either on the dance ...

(A version of this piece also appears on HuffPost.) The Mother's Day I became a gender creative kid's champion, my ch ...

My son who wears heels before prom, 2006. It’s been a big news week for LGBTQ folks and allies! Here are my favorite ...

Me, Harry (aka Amber Alert) & Cousin Rickshala, December 2012. Like the cherry trees at Brooklyn Botanical Garde ...

Me and my son who wears heels, April 2015. I cooked a new fish Saturday night for my combo Passover and Easter meal, ...

I introduced Naomi Waxman, social media manager for My Son Wears Heels, last fall. She’s currently spending a month in J ...

Harry's birthday party beads, 1994. TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY PARENTS I’m celebrating all fierce moms and dads this weeken ...

(A version of this piece appears on HuffPost.) The first time I saw my only child Harry was a quarter century ago. My ...

My gender-creative kid Harry's ballooning happiness, 1994 While I stripped sheets off the guest-room bed upstairs, m ...

Harry on St. Paddy's Day, 1997. Some people get freaked out by Friday the 13th. Not my sister, though. Her June 13th ...

It's a bird! It's a plane! No... it's Balthazar the Pink! Walking to the coffee shop, phone in hand, I was in a hurr ...

The hilarity of Harry, 1997. Each time my family-historian cousin Rickshala posts a comment here on the blog, I’m re ...

Harry's hallway train, 1994. The clips from old SNL sketches came too fast for my liking on Sunday night’s 40th anni ...

Harry and me, Winter 1991. Pacifier? Check. Sippy cup? Check. Scraps of bread? Check. I snapped the safety strap of ...

Michael Welch & Michelle Hendley star in Eric Schaeffer's "Boy Meets Girl" There are a couple of charming twenty ...

My kid Harry, aka Amber Alert “Yes! My BB cream!” said Harry. My adult child had just opened one of the packages sen ...

Harry & the 'purple popper' flowers, 1992 When the curtain lowered after Act I of the Mariinsky Ballet’s Swan La ...

“Today her name is Ahna,” said the woman with the stroller, answering the question posed by the lady in line behind her ...

Stuck in the middle: My Son Wears Heels' Naomi, 2012 Hi there! I’m Naomi. Julie introduced me a few weeks ago as the ...

Harry & me, New Year's Day 1996 Cheers to you and an exciting New Year! On New Year’s mornings in hometown Milwa ...

A gender 'Round Up' of 2014 I might feel differently if I were a kid who’d been told last January that I needed brac ...

Christmas memories of Harry hang on this year's tree. My child Harry, now 24, grew up lighting candles on our menora ...

No gender stereotypes for my kid, 1993 (This piece also appears on HuffPost Parents.) I ran into a friend recentl ...

Jasmine & Harry, Christmas 1995 DEAR SANTA CLAUS When eight-year-old Gary’s request to the North Pole for a Brend ...

Naomi & Harry at the Coney Island Mermaid Parade, 2010 MY BIG NEWS IS A BIG DEAL! It may be Black Friday in the r ...

My son Harry & his Aunt Leslie, Thanksgiving 2013. My 30-something friend Greg told me that his 50-something fri ...

My great kid Harry, 1995. There’s an entry in The Harry Chronicles – a collection of “Harryisms” my now 24-year-old ...

Hedwig & Spiderman, Halloween 2014. (Photo by Austin Green) LEAVE YOUR MISCONCEPTIONS AT THE DOOR I used my fir ...

My son as Agent Dana Scully, Halloween 2014. HOW MANY COSTUMES CAN ONE KID HAVE? “I know I posted a Halloween pie ...

(This post also appears on HuffPost.) You'd think by the time my son Harry turned four years old in 1994 I would have ...

Do these baby shoes have a gender? There they were. The cutest pairs of baby shoes I’d ever seen, all in a size I gu ...

There’s nothing like a short video that can entertain, inform, make you think and get you talking. Here are a few that c ...

(A version of this piece also appears on HuffPost.) Pronoun usage was just confusing at times. I'd noticed my kid Har ...

Prada's flame heels for spring/summer 2012 at Brooklyn Museum You’ll find a lot of photos here in my blog diary of t ...

Kids want freedom as much as adults do. And there’s a good chance no one wants their independence more than teenager ...

Harry, senior year in H.S., 2007 (This post is dedicated to the late, great, ever-fashionable Joan Rivers. It also a ...

Sarah Prager, Creator of Quist There’s a woman I’d like to send back to school. Not to learn, but to teach. Her name ...

Harry & me, first day of first grade, 1996 This week my niece Jamey, a middle school teacher in Florida, posted ...

I’d never seen a boy like him before. He was an acne-covered teenager, super skinny and nearly seven feet tall. I co ...

Harry and Tweety, 1998 Walking home from the food co-op yesterday afternoon, I heard a little girl in a stroller tel ...

H.S. grad Hedwig & me in front of Milwaukee's Oriental Theater, 2008 Just as my son Harry never crawled, the My ...

Titanic Explorer Harry on his birthday, 1999 (This piece also appears on HuffPost.) When my son Harry was in seco ...

Harry & his BFF after picking raspberries, 1997 The mom who lived right across the street from us in Milwaukee, ...

What if a boy is friends only with girls? A mother who worries other boys will stigmatize her 15-year-old son becaus ...

I can't wait for the NYC Pride Parade 2014! Aside from a layer of non-greasy SPF 400 sunscreen, I’m not sure what I’ ...

Harry's mermaid princess on a rock, 1995. I was writing my name in the sign-out book outside of my son Harry's kinde ...

Newborn Harry's rainbow sweater from Jay, 1990. I landed in hometown Milwaukee a week ago to clear out the boxes tha ...

Kalima introduces PFLAG to sixth graders at PS/IS89. As about 30 sixth graders filed into a classroom at PS/IS89 in ...

Funny man Harry & me, 1994. Unforgettable quotes from curious kids are a sure bet for turning up the corners of ...

The BETTERMedia Illustrations Project highlights important issues facing LGBT youth worldwide. My jaw dropped the fi ...

Harry's first-grade Mother's Day drawing, 1996. My tribute to moms honors one in particular. I’ve never met her. We’ ...

  "Green-Haired Peace Girl" by Harry, age 9, 1999 Your kids shine! And so does their artwork. It’s about sel ...

  My three-year-old son had his own ideas about gender in 1993. I was honored when "My Kid Is Gay" asked me ...

My son Harry, awaiting Fourth of July fireworks on Milwaukee's lakefront, 1992. I have no problem mixing holidays. S ...

My son Harry loved his dolls. (This piece originally appeared on HuffPost.) The sound of the doorbell was followe ...

You’ve no doubt seen the letters LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender). Maybe you’ve also come across them arra ...

Harry on his first day of 4th grade, 1999. My nine-year-old son Harry ran up to my car all smiles. He dropped his ba ...

  My son's birthdays celebrate happiness. This weekend I’ll be celebrating my son Harry’s twenty-fourth birt ...

The rainbow wall of wigs in my son Harry's bedroom is definitely an eye-catcher. But it was the poster hanging above ...

Harry, age 2, had lots of questions. Matzo balls were on the menu Sunday night as I whipped up a big pot of soup for ...

Harry & Me, Steamboat Springs, Colorado, 1995 I didn’t remember ever crying during the Olympics. But the 2014 Wint ...

The iconic cone-bra outfits Madonna wore on her 1990 Blond Ambition tour just might be top fashion designer Jean Pau ...

It was in junior high that my son declared Valentine’s Day a “Hallmark holiday.” But before he felt manipulated by a ...

(This piece also appears on HuffPost.) On a sub-zero February morning in 1997, I stopped at my son Harry's bedroo ...

While 33 straight and same-sex couples were married at the Grammys Sunday night, the Disney Channel made a little LG ...

Harry & Snoopy, 1995 Little kids are naturally funny. They just are. Their perspectives on everyday life and lan ...

Four-year-old Harry walked out the front door barefoot, wearing a pink chambray skirt paired with a signature tie-dy ...

Saturday was my annual de-clutter workout. The one where I organize all of the files, notes, articles, books and cor ...

Yes, Born This Way is a song by Lady Gaga. But it’s also the title of a book I read on New Year’s Eve day.  And when ...

(This piece also appears on HuffPost.) An entire wall of Hallmark Christmas ornaments loomed large in the gift sh ...

My son’s blue, Cher headpiece cookie and his frosted version of sorority president Elle Woods landed center stage on ...

The first drag queen cookie, Dec. 2006 It was Christmas 2003 when my son, then thirteen, transformed the cookie cuto ...

I've noticed a pattern recently among the stroller crowd in my neighborhood. Night or day, it seems that the people ...

Rummaging through some of the boxes I still have in my hometown storage site, I came across a turkey cookbook that m ...

Cousins Rikshala and Juliska A guest blog from family historian Rikshala Tarkovka. Tashkent, 1762. The Winter of Big ...

For years my cousin Rich (aka Rikshala) has been sending me “true” stories about our Russian Jewish ancestors, the T ...

I’ve been entering The Twilight Zone lately to watch some of my favorite old episodes. Last night, I was drawn in on ...

Gross everyone out with these creepy cookies. When I started this blog three months ago, I swore there'd be no recip ...

My readers in Turkey and I found each other by pure serendipity. Yep. It was my clueless foray into Facebook adverti ...

From left, Spencer the Firefighter and Harry the Chipmunk Mouse. Halloween 1991 We moms all make mistakes, feel guil ...

My son and I flew into Milwaukee Saturday morning to attend the memorial service for my tiny fireball of a sister-in ...

(This piece also appears on HuffPost.) “Where’re you headed?” the cabbie asked Harry, who glanced back at me from ...

I admit it. I used to make fun of Tammy Faye Bakker.  Her excessive eye make up seemed more befitting the flamboyant ...

My call for you to share some of the comical things your toddlers said as they learned to master English drew some g ...

My son made his world debut twenty-three years ago via triple E-section. (I had morphed during pregnancy from a peti ...

Waiting in the checkout line at my favorite garden center, I was entertained by a cute, curly-haired toddler in a wh ...

(This piece originally appeared on HuffPost.) According to two young girls selling lemonade on the corner of Fuller ...

While she may be a sell-out hit for young girls, I’m guessing the Mars Explorer Barbie released last week won’t be a ...

Turns out that my fave humorist David Sedaris is also a huge fan of RuPaul's Drag Race. At least that what he tells ...

On my only son’s eighteenth birthday, I presented him with a homemade book titled The Harry Chronicles. It was nothi ...

H.S. grad Hedwig & me in front of Milwaukee's Oriental Theater, 2008 My son wears heels. He has since he was four. ...